| As the engine roar melted to a kitten purr and | | | | secluded patch of waterfront paradise, soaked up |
| our boat nuzzled up to the Caye Caulker pier, we | | | | the afternoon sun, and flipped through back issues |
| did a quick inventory check. Dancing palms, tick. | | | | of Mexican celebrity gossip magazines found |
| Sun bleached beach, tick. Island motto, "Go Slow", | | | | discarded in our room - anything to keep our |
| painted lazily on a signpost stuck in the sand, tick. | | | | minds off the fact that our days of sloth were |
| I gave my partner in crime a private smile. This | | | | numbered. Back at the bungalow we hatched our |
| was the place. We'd escaped...for now.Bobbing up | | | | plan. We were not giving up our life of leisure that |
| and down against a tiny Belizean island on the | | | | easily. We would go down partying. Caye |
| Caribbean Sea wasn't in the original script. The | | | | Ambergris awaited and I had a birthday to |
| plan had been to fly into Belize for a quick taste | | | | celebrate.As the largest, most developed, and |
| of eco-adventure before slipping over the | | | | most expensive of the Belizean islands, Caye |
| Guatemalan border. But we'd got greedy, and | | | | Ambergris caters well for the first class holiday |
| four days later, we were still there with our hands | | | | seeker, with a range of villas, luxury home stays |
| caught in the action jar. Jungle hikes, eco-tours, | | | | and resorts to choose from. To prepare for our |
| Jaguar spotting, cave tubing, Mayan ruins and | | | | last stand, we checked into the mysteriously |
| mountain bike treks. Where would it end? The | | | | named Sun Breeze Beach Hotel, close to the main |
| equatorial heat was on. We'd needed a place to | | | | town of San Pedro, for some pampering and |
| lay low for a couple of days. Somewhere a man | | | | creature comforts. The spacious rooms, resort |
| could find a secluded beach and lie back and think | | | | style swimming pool, Jacuzzi, massage studio, |
| of England, or anywhere else he'd rather not be. | | | | swanky outdoor bar, and international flavoured |
| After making a few discreet inquiries we knew | | | | restaurant were a world away from the |
| there was only one place to hide, and only one | | | | Gilliganism's of Caye Caulker, but at only USD125 |
| man powerful enough to help us get there. The | | | | a night, my inner Thurston Howell the third was |
| man known only as, "The Marine Terminal ticket | | | | calling.Pandered, pleasured, and fed in ways that |
| booth guy".So we paid for our boat passes in | | | | only money can buy, we climbed to the lookout |
| small, unmarked bills, jumped aboard the first | | | | over the hotel bar. Slipping in the hammock, we |
| vessel bound for the islands, and left the spoils of | | | | witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets the |
| mainland adventure in our wake. Not that the | | | | Caribbean has to offer. Swinging back and forth |
| warm blue coastal waters were fooling us. Home | | | | with a birthday cocktail in hand, I could truly |
| to more than one hundred and seventy islands, or | | | | appreciate how delightfully far we were from |
| cayes, and the world's second largest barrier reef, | | | | anything resembling an office cubicle. |
| it wouldn't be easy to keep our hands off a | | | | Contemplation over, I made my final charge into |
| bounty of aquatic fun that has tempted travellers | | | | the night. Crazy Canucks Bar, crazy Canadian in |
| since Blackbeard and his Buccaneer posse cruised | | | | tow, we drank, laughed and danced |
| these waters back in the 1600's. Yet, as we | | | | embarrassingly to reggae music until sunrise.The |
| stood on this unassuming wharf and watched our | | | | following days we gorged on water sports as fast |
| getaway vessel pull out of dock, the captain | | | | as Caye Ambergris could dish them up. There |
| turned to us with some re-assuring words of | | | | was diving amongst some of the world's most |
| advice, "Relax mon. You're on Caye Caulker time | | | | beautiful coral reefs, sailing tours around the island, |
| now".If Gilligan had ever taken up real estate | | | | deep-sea fishing for sailfish and barracuda, jet |
| development, Caye Caulker town would have | | | | skiing and paragliding off the sun-tickled beaches. |
| been his Big Apple. Dozing peacefully on this slip of | | | | Oh how we feasted!Our hunger for aqua |
| an island, the cluster of brightly painted | | | | adventure finally satiated, we wandered into |
| ramshackle beach hideaways, deserted beach lots, | | | | town, plonked our behinds on the nearest bikes |
| scattered fishing boats, palm trees, sand floor | | | | for rent, and peddled to the far reaches of the |
| restaurants, dive huts, and salty old sailors | | | | island. Crossing a small river by |
| propping up bars at 11am in the morning, makes | | | | man-pulling-rope-very-hard-powered ferry to the |
| for the perfect getaway haven.The jewels in | | | | less populated north island, we cycled along |
| Caye Caulker's crown are it minimalist pleasures. | | | | remote dirt tracks lined with sweeping palm trees. |
| No international resorts, flashy nightclubs, or peak | | | | Emerging from the bush onto the beach at the |
| hour traffic. Remember the motto? Go slow. Our | | | | edge of the lapping blue Caribbean, it was a |
| mission, and yes we did choose to accept it, was | | | | leisurely ride along long stretches of white |
| to find a bungalow for as little as forty dollars per | | | | squeaky sand to the "money" end of town.The |
| night on a quiet stretch of squeaky white sand, | | | | north beach plays host to luxurious resort |
| treat our palates to an array of seafood delights, | | | | bungalows and private beach villas. I pondered |
| and then debrief over a drink at a beach bar | | | | ambitiously over the For Sale sign standing outside |
| watching the sun slip beneath a sheet of | | | | one particularly hedonistic abode. Apparently, the |
| Caribbean blue sea. This message will self-indulge in | | | | former owner wasn't happy about motoring his |
| five seconds.Before long, we'd slipped into the "no | | | | 80ft cruiser around all that coral nonsense to |
| shoes, no shirt, no problem" and "sarong, | | | | moor outside his beach palace. Being the |
| swimsuit, smile" dress code, and immersed | | | | entrepreneurial type, he'd used a few sticks of |
| ourselves amongst the welcoming band of eclectic | | | | dynamite to blast a neat little driveway straight |
| castaways. It soon became clear that the local | | | | through the reef. Unfortunately, the government |
| brew of Creoles, Central Americans, and | | | | didn't see it that way and sent him a fine big |
| Europeans posed little threat to our relaxation | | | | enough to clear the Belize national debt. He was |
| plans. However, we'd have to keep tabs on the | | | | last seen paddling a canoe in the direction of |
| North American retirees swerving along the | | | | Cuba.A little further along we stumbled across |
| streets in rickety old golf carts, sending dogs, | | | | Captain Morgan's Retreat, setting of the original |
| children and loitering tourists running for cover.For | | | | Temptation Island show. As we stood outside the |
| three perfect days we hid behind sunglasses, | | | | Mecca of televised drama, so many touching |
| cocktail umbrellas and lobster menus, wondering if | | | | memories came flooding back. Amber and Troy |
| maybe, just maybe, there would be no more calls | | | | whispering under a palm tree, probably discussing |
| to action, and life really was a beach after all. | | | | the effects of global warming. Shawana ditching |
| Then one night, whilst minding our own business | | | | Gary and confessing to Chad 'you had me at "are |
| over a couple of tall Panty Rippers at Popeye's | | | | those things real?"' At that moment, I couldn't help |
| Bar and Restaurant, the bartender told us a man | | | | but appreciate the truly important things in life. I |
| had been in asking questions. "Did he know | | | | turned to the ski bunny and told her she had a |
| anyone who might like to explore the reef?" "Had | | | | smile so beautiful it could almost pass as |
| he seen any tourists dance so badly to the | | | | cosmetically enhanced.Peddling across the beach |
| reggae band they couldn't possibly show their | | | | towards town for the last time before heading |
| faces around the island?" The next morning, we | | | | back to the mainland, we waved goodbye to all |
| went to see a man about a snorkelling tour.Whilst | | | | the things we loved about the cayes. The lazy |
| experienced divers prefer the more exciting sites | | | | palm trees, the ivory white sands, the aqua blue |
| in the waters off Caye Ambergris, the beautiful | | | | waters, the hammocks swinging in the breeze, |
| calm reefs of Caye Caulker offered the ideal | | | | the friendly faces, the plastic whale and dolphin |
| setting for first timer submariners like my | | | | fountain splashing water over Jesus outside the |
| nervous companion, a Canadian mountain girl, | | | | pink Jehovah's Witness mansion...the what? |
| much more at ease in a set of ski's than a pair of | | | | Anyway, for a couple of repeat adventure travel |
| flippers.After the initial disappointment of learning | | | | offenders, it sure made a nice place for a day |
| that this wasn't my chance to wear a tight rubber | | | | pass or two.Some have said I spend too much |
| body suit in public, the reef snorkelling trip turned | | | | time living in a fantasy world, that I need to get a |
| out to be a fantastic experience. We goggled and | | | | grip on reality. Sometimes I think they're right. But |
| gawked at the amazing array of fish, eels, and | | | | then again, they've probably never been to the |
| spectacular coral formations. The highlight of the | | | | Belizean cayes.Simon Hillier is a freelance writer |
| three-hour tour was Shark Ray Alley, where | | | | based in Sydney, Australia. His company, Get |
| Nurse sharks circled our wary group from a | | | | There Writing Services, provides copywriting, |
| distance before weaving in for a closer look, and | | | | travel writing, feature articles, scripts and ebooks |
| the Southern Ray stingrays slid their expansive | | | | that will have your readers clicking and streaming |
| wings over our bodies. Both proved to be fairly | | | | for more. For further information on Simon's |
| harmless, if perhaps a little fresh for a first | | | | article services, visit the feature articles and travel |
| date.For the rest of the day hardly a word was | | | | writing section of the Get There Writing Services |
| spoken. Mountain girl and I adjourned to our | | | | website. |