| Communicating Effectively Results in the | | | | They practiced on the dirt road to the cabin for |
| Experience of Respect and Love | | | | about half an hour. His voice was calm, his words |
| Many couples struggle with how to communicate | | | | encouraging, and no tears were shed. Confident in |
| effectively. Unfortunately, as the more relational | | | | her abilities, he said, "I'll meet you over there in |
| creation, wives need to be more conscientious of | | | | about 10 minutes." |
| the power their words have on the relationship. | | | | On the drive over to the boat ramp, she had a |
| Too often, there is a failure to communicate | | | | chance to wonder why things had gone so well. |
| expectations, or it is done in such a way that is | | | | He's tried to teach her a few things in the past, |
| sarcastic and contemptuous, which then results in | | | | one of the more interesting attempts ended with |
| a perception of disrespect. This article gives an | | | | them capsizing a small sailboat, and most of these |
| example of a successful communication through a | | | | experiences involved his getting frustrated and |
| difficult challenge, providing practical advice of how | | | | her feelings being hurt. The difference this time |
| to 1) get needs met, and 2) set expectations to | | | | was as easy as pulling the trailer to the ramp |
| avoid conflict and pain. | | | | area(which was remarkably simple). She had |
| The Boat Trailer | | | | clearly stated what she needed from him for |
| As he climbed into the cab beside her, she looked | | | | things to go well. She communicated expectations |
| at him and matter-of-factly said, "I'll do this wrong | | | | - for both of them. After being married for 18 |
| about 20 times before you even see a glimmer | | | | years, they knew each other pretty well. Being a |
| of hope for the possibility that I might be able to | | | | friend and being respectful to her husband often |
| tame this monster. I am going on record right | | | | means helping him - sometimes it's pulling the boat |
| now, that what I need is a heapin' helping of extra | | | | out of the water, sometimes it's setting an |
| grace from you - gently coach me through this | | | | accurate expectation. |
| and encourage me or I'm going to get frustrated, | | | | She made two passes at the boat ramp that |
| burst into tears and not only will we both be | | | | day, nearly hitting the dock on the first pass, then |
| upset, but you'll still have to get out of the boat | | | | pulled back for a moment to figure out what |
| and trailer it yourself." He stared at her for a brief | | | | didn't work and why, tried again, a little slower and |
| moment, taking in her statement, then said | | | | more successfully the second time. The situation |
| simply, "You can do this. Just because you've | | | | resulted in a win/win situation for both of them, |
| never backed the trailer into the water, doesn't | | | | not just with the boat, but in their relationship, |
| mean you aren't capable of doing it. Let's go." | | | | too. |