The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips

There are a lot of places in this world where onea veteran of over twenty years in the Disney
can go to find solace, peace and tranquility whilecorporation, gave us some interesting facts on
wetting a line for fish.Walt Disney World in Orlandoher background with Disney World. Having spent
Florida is not the first place that comes tothe first part of her career with Disney in "guest
mind.Nonetheless, right there beneath the shadowrelations" she had mainly handled "guest"
of the Magic Kingdom, amongst wide-eyed rollercomplaints, so the fishing guide position she had
coaster riders, a stones throw from Tinkerbell'sheld for the last eight years was a welcome relief.
safety harness, exists one of the primeShe had grown up in Louisiana fishing for bass,
Largemouth Bass fishing waters you will findand she was well qualified for obviously one of
anywhere.Remote? No.Pristine? Hardly.Filled withthe most coveted positions that the 70,000 or so
hungry fat Largemouth Bass....YES!!I'm not reallyfolks on the Disney World payroll could have.
sure what compelled me to book a two hourSpending your day out on the water away from
Disney Bass fishing adventure.I don't know if Ithe crowds certainly seemed a better tour of
was curious that possibly a rather large mouseduty, than trying to manipulate a pen with
might show up at the dock with a fishing vest fulloversized paws inside a large fur coat in 90
of sponsor patches,and a big wad of chewdegree weather.But that's just me.We motored
between his cheek and gum. Or, if mechanicalon by the big ferry boat loaded with another
alligators might raise up out of the water- jawsgroup of guests ready for a d-day like assault on
agape-while I reached down to pick up my bassthe Magic Kingdom, and pulled up to the shallows
by the lips. Or, if perhaps cannonballs might benear an island. I knew I would have to catch my
landing dangerously close to the boat as we allfish early on, before the "estrogen" effect would
sang yo-ho yo- ho a fisherman's life for me....Oroccur and I would be relegated to camera
maybe, just maybe, after wandering around theduty.Even though catch and release is the practice
Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and MGMon these waters, live bait is still the bait of choice.
for four days, bouncing off of an endless streamBeing a steelhead and salmon fisherman from
of six year olds with attached parents inOregon I was unfamiliar with the little "shiners"
tow,eating space burgers,frontier burgers,Yetithat they use down south to produce the big
burgers, and trying to figure out how to amusebass, but as if on cue, within a minute of tossing
myself in line for 60 minutes while waiting to havethe little fellar into the drink I had my first
the POOH scared out of me.....maybe, just maybelargemouth on--and it was a nice one too!I hoisted
I thought that I might just find a few hours awaya chubby four pound bass onto the boat, and as I
from the hustle,bustle and silent freakish stares ofgrabbed him by the "largemouth" I made sure he
Chip and Dale.I must admit, as we were makingwas real, and not some animatronic Disney bass
plans for a family trip to the mother of allthat was about to break into a chorus of "You
amusement parks, I had spotted this fishingain't nothin' but a hound dog".Pretty soon Sara,
adventure on the Disney website. As my wifemy daughter, had her first bass on and mom was
locked us in for five days of "Disney Magic", Iright behind her with her first bass.Dang, the
writhed in agony wondering just how manyestrogen had kicked in early.As promised, Disney
princesses there must be if it takes five days tohad already delivered a great family experience
see them.My six year old daughter was obviouslyand since most of the fish caught by my
thrilled.Being a card carrying member of the "Idaughter had been crappie sized fish out of her
want to go fishing club", I figured this may be myGrandpa's pond, the look of excitement that Sara
only opportunity to sneak in some fishing on thishad on her face when she hoisted her first
trip. And if you have ever looked at a map of thelargemouth bass was well worth the price of
Orlando area, you will see that this is an abundantadmission.We each caught several more bass with
area of lakes, not to mention short drives to thethe biggest running close to five pounds.Sara, like
coastal areas and ocean fishing galore. In otherany six year old, quickly lost interest in the labor
words it was killing me, knowing how close toinvolved with catching fish, and turned her interest
great fishing I was--but unless they had troutto the "shiners" swimming in the live well.I guess
swimming along the waterways of Splashyou might say she took a shine to 'em!!
Mountain--I was never going to see any ofHA!Anyway, she became are unofficial "shiner"
them.So, after the third day of posing for picturesgo-fer, and kept the little fish in shape, by chasing
with oversized rodents, dragons, and perkythem around trying to catch them with her bare
princesses, I called the Disney central reservationhands.After a short dry spell, we headed off to
line for "active fun"-as if screaming and doingother "pristine" waters. This spot happened to be
isometric hand grips on Expedition Everest, orat the ferry landing, where all the people line up
ogling Pocahontas is not considered active fun!-for the d-day assault.Under the watchful eyes of
and booked a bass fishing trip for the nexthundreds of Disney patrons and a couple of
morning. Evidently, the line and waiting period forHerons and Egrets, we went bass fishing. After
the "largemouth bass ride" is not nearly as long aslanding another big chubby in front of the bored
the wait for Peter Pan, because the nice girl (Iline sitters, they all let out a loud cheer and like
think it may have been Cinderella) was able to getthe shy fella I am, I hoisted my trophy like I had
us a fishing trip out of the Contemporary Hoteljust won Bassmaster's $10,000 first prize on
Marina with no problem.Didn't even have to get aESPN.Unfortunately, one of our released fish didn't
FastPass!!Best of all, we didn't have to get upfare to well and soon was floating belly up near
early. We were scheduled for 10:00 a.m.Like allthe ferry boat. A Heron made a heroic effort to
Disney events and productions, great attention tohoist the big fish from the waters, but the two
detail and planning is done to insure the perfectpound fish was too much and he retired back to
family experience. That is why catch and releasehis front row seat on shore.Although there is
is the practice on Seven Seas lagoon and Bayalways going to be a certain amount of attrition,
lake, (the two primary fishing waters at Walteven when you are catching and releasing fish, I
Disney World) and probably a big reason for thethink the Disney folks would just as soon their
reliable fishery.AND like all Disney adventures andbass went belly up away from the gates to
productions, the perfect family experience has it'sFantasyland, and we soon had a radio call from
price.$230.00 for two hours of fishing!That's aHolly's boss telling us to move from the
lotta rubber worms.In fairness, that is the rentaldocks-because it was too windy.Seemed odd
of the boat and the boat can handle up to fivesince there was only the faintest of breezes in
fishermen(four if they are wearing mouse ears.)the air.We still felt bad, and certainly didn't want to
so really you technically can get it under fiftybe responsible for kids being permanently scarred
bucks a person.AND like all Disney events-it wasfor life, so we moved.Not that Disney does
well worth the price to see the excited look onanything to ever permanently scar kids!!??It was
my daughters face when I told her we werejust as well, because by now my wife was using
gonna catch us " a messa bass".Most of theher unfair estrogen advantage to outfish me two
guides showed up at the marina a few minutesto one, which was even noticed by the ferry
early and looked like they had part time roles onboat- line operator, who made it a point to walk
The Animal Planet. The boats were spotless, fullyover to our boat and tell us of his keen
equipped and ready to go. Since there were threeobservation.Darn estrogen.By the time we
of us and we had a "little one" on board, we weremotored our way back into Bay lake our "two
given a pontoon type boat rather than a basshour cruise" was pretty much at an end. Of
boat.I expected Steve the crocodile hunter to becourse there was still the matter of settling up on
our guide for the day,but as it turned out ourthe bill, and receiving a nice complimentary
guide was to be a lovely lady by the name ofsubscription to a bass fishing magazine---which of
Holly.Guess Goofy had the day off.After quickcourse happens to be owned by Disney.....As we
introductions we were on board our Tracker andleft the boat and headed back into the perfect
on our way.Now, for those of you that have readworld of magical princesses, long lines, and the
any previous articles I have written, you willever present gift shops, I couldn't help but think
quickly realize that I was going fishing with threethat I had just got off the best ride at Disney
members of the "e-factor" estrogen fishingWorld.Well-except for the Mad Tea Cups....A.J. Klott
society. If you are not familiar with this secretAuthor, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack"
society, let's just say that I had about as muchpeddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and
of a chance of outfishing these ladies as getting amodern day events that surround the fishing
date with Ariel or Snow White.As we motoredworld. His first book is now out and being sold out
our way out of the natural waters of Bay lakeof the back of a 1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your
and into the man made Seven Seas lagoon, Holly,town soon.